C Magazine Review of How to Train Your Virgin



This is a great article about the New Lovers books, specifically about the first three of which How to Train Your Virgin was one.126

Excerpt: (a not entirely loving one, but that’s all right, it’s erotica, not literature. 🙂 And really, this just makes all those nightmares I had in MFA grad school about my sexual performance being workshopped by a class — more real than ever.) :

“The first in the series, How To Train Your Virgin, by the pseudonymous Wednesday Black, takes place in a fictional landscape separated from our own by human dream space. Its queen is the book’s narrator.

There, physical laws depart from our own (the populace is immortal, and we see the bodies of its members slip mercurially between chosen and natural forms) but the organic elements that make up the book’s visual register are nonetheless recognizable: dogs, birds, eggs, trees, flowers, fields. There is a vine girl (“a willow tree made female flesh”) and a vine man (“a hoary chap with face almost entirely occluded by the vines that grow from his skin. His body is shaggy with tendrils and leaves, and at the base, the thick genitals are petrified erect”); a “Baby Garden” where trees bear “orbs made up of curled fetuses of all species—fairies and nixies and gnomes, winged piglets, bearded unicorns, toothpick-haired unicorns”; a ghost woman with a leopard’s head and an “athlete’s body” that’s “Amazonian in its hardness”; and a centaur, whose species is described as “loyal creatures, being made of the stallion’s lust and the man’s intelligence and deliberation.” And there are others. As you can imagine, these bodies are all introduced in order for them to have sex with each other. And remarkably, despite their radical structural deviation from human bodies, they somehow fall under the very human hegemony of penis-in-vagina, mutually orgasmic sex.

The novel’s plot is motivated by the narrator queen’s desire to sabotage an affair her husband, the king, is on course to pursue. The targets of his affection are two human virgins – one male, one female – and the queen tries desperately to reach them before he can, in order to take their respective virginities and, in turn, nullify their appeal. Normally, she can reach the humans during their dreamtime, though with M – the girl – her attempts are “stymied by tinctures for depression, anxiety, suffering,” which prevent uninvited nighttime visitors. Peter – the boy – “does not take pills of forgetfulness” but rather dreams nightly of his memories of an unplaced war zone where “rockets crash, women shriek under the rapine attention of beings of clotted ash and fury,” and this trauma keeps the queen at bay. However, she manages to reach the virgins when they are vulnerable – Peter when he is sick, M when under the influence of MDMA.

The prose is peppered with structural and lexical anachronisms in the vein of “I run from the Hall and through the moors to the borderlands where the Realm gives way to a sandy, bemisted void.” It has the same effect as listening to characters in fantasy movies and television shows set in ancient or alternative worlds who uniformly have British accents and a formal syntax: that someone is awkwardly trying to affect aristocratic class or status through their proximity to history and archaic usage. It seems that even in fantasy, there’s a limit to what can be imagined…” — Tess Edmunson, C Magazine

Wednesday Black & Paul Chan on “Krystal Clear”@MSNBC

Thank you, Krystal Ball for having me and Paul Chan on your show to talk about the New Lovers erotica series. We had a blast, even if my face was twitching uncontrollably.


10433785_752646174851611_2932998613522648754_n oh. And there’s also this trailer for How To Train Y.our Virgin. LOL

Artist chats a with Art News– reasons for publishing New Lovers Series


Text from the article:

Interviewer: I’m surprised to hear you say that you think these might be–this is a for-profit venture? These are meant to make money? Because We Love Lucy, it’s pretty straightforward porn, I actually appreciate the sort of lack of story. But How to Train Your Virgin is so surreal. It’s not exactly a one-handed read, right?

Paul Chan: “I don’t know. The nice thing about what we do is we have no idea what we’re doing. And so we learned in the process of publishing these books what we’re actually doing. Just because you say, ‘Oh, I’m going to publish erotica’ doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. And I’m very open about the fact that we have no idea what we’re doing. But we thought we’d give it a go. And so we started reaching out to friends and friends of friends to see if people might be interested, to see if artists, curators, writers, critics might be interested in writing erotic fiction. Sooner or later people started getting into it and sending us submissions and we went through a process where we picked the ones that we liked the most, and then they wrote it and we went through an editing process. But this whole process is about learning what people are reading, what people are willing to write, and what ideas of sexuality exist today, whether or not it has widespread appeal.”


In other news, I was pleased to see that both The New Museum and The Guggenheim Museum, both in New York City, are carrying How to Train Your Virgin in their stores.

You can’t take these little erotica volumes too seriously. They are silly fun, and buying them supports Badlands Unlimited’s publication of art books.


The New York Times and Vogue Make Mention of How to Train Your Virgin this week!

It’s true. The hallowed New York Times blog has mentioned the proliferation of erotic literature (literotica as some call it), and mentioned Badlands Unlimited New Lovers series in particular. How to Train your Virgin is mentioned as “Smutty Books for Smart People.”  Read it here, then for goodness sake, or for badness, like my mean and powerful main character, The Queen, go buy it here!

Vogue interviewed game-changing artist, Paul Chan, in the March issue of Vogue. You can read the article here at Scribd or pick up Vogue’s latest issue! Who does’t like vogue? Just like: who doesn’t like virgins? It’s a no brainer.

Is this shameless self-promotion?

Yup. But this will be a space for erotic writing soon enough…

Hot novellas! Get your hot novellas! Only $1.99 on Amazon: How to Train Your Virgin

Buy How to Train Your Virgin today!
It’s funny. It’s feminist. And it’s awfully gross. But you might get a baby rise out of it. Buy today.

Also, what do you think about the slut-shaming of erotica writers? I’m growing some theories on this topic!

Don’t forget we have a historic book launch on March 10, 2015, at the Guggenheim Museum.

Erotica Launches at The Bloody AWESOME Guggenheim Museum – March 10, 2015

Holy March 10, 2015!

How to Train Your Virgin, an erotic fantasy novella by me, Wednesday Black, is a part of the Badlands Unlimited New Lovers series.  Publisher Paul Chan is making history by holding the series launch at the at the Guggenheim Museum. Buy tickets now! Students may RSVP using the link for a free admission. Check it out and support writers of meaningful, awesome and just plain sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy erotica!